Deja Vu.....

"We understand death only after it has placed its hands on someone we love" -Anne L. de Stael

I envy those who have never been close to anyone who has died. I know that death is a natural part of life, inevitable to us all, but that doesn't make it suck any less. Knowing that you'll never see that one person again, and wanting nothing more than to talk to them and hear their voice one more time is a feeling that I would never wish on my worst enemy.

I have known quite a few people who have died, but the one that stands out the most for me, was my good friend, Chris.

Ten years ago, right before senior year started, he was in an awful car accident. He was on life support for almost a week, and I was able to make it up to the Seattle area, where he lived, to say goodbye just in the nick of time. That made it both easier, and harder. I was able to get my closure, and to tell him how much I loved him, but it also forced me to face the fact that I was losing one of my best friends, and there wasn't a thing I could do about it.

Fast forward to this past weekend. Kira, a girl that I consider to be like a little sister to me, was forced to experience an almost identical situation. Her best friend, Tyler, was in a car accident, and did not make it.


I've met Tyler a few times, when Kira would babysit her sister's kids at my house and he would tag along, or those random weekends when she would practically move in and take over my entire couch, and he would come over to hang out. Everyone in our house got along with him.

I know exactly what Kira is going through right now, because I lived it when I was her age. She came over last night, once again, moving in to my living room. We talked late into the night, cried a few times, and shared some stories. She made a playlist of songs to help her get through it, and I shared the songs that helped me get through Chris' death as well.

Now, as I see this broken girl, sleeping on my couch, I am proud of her, because so far she has handled this situation a lot better than I did. I never had anyone around me go through the same experience, so I feel a sense of responsibility to be there for her whenever she needs someone to talk to.

Kira, I love you and I know that you are hurting right now. I promise, it will get better. I know it will suck, and sometimes you'll want to curse the world for moving on. But you'll be able to look back on everything and not hurt. It'll take time, but it will happen. And I'll make sure of it.

And Tyler, it was wonderful knowing you. You were a great kid, and I enjoyed the times when I would come home and find you and Kira occupying my couch, watching Netflix, hanging out with the kids, or just napping. I know I'll see you again someday, and in the meantime, I'm sure Chris will take good care of you up there. :D

And for everyone else, make sure to give a big hug to those you love. You never know when you won't be able to anymore.